Just ‘be’
Search your heart and just see. The way to do is to be
Lao Tzu
COVID has been immensely difficult for most of us but it has created the time and space for us to search our hearts and to understand ourselves more. Through this process, inspired by the adversity of the pandemic, I have undergone a personal journey of transformation. With reflection time that I may never have created otherwise, I’ve learned much about myself; as a leader, a friend, a colleague, a human being.
This past year, I have taken persistent and relentless steps towards making the best of me better, in order to focus on my wellbeing and better support those around me.
I’ve read more, exercised more, written more, considered more and practised listening more. I have wholeheartedly embraced the challenge of change and I’m perpetually looking for ways to improve.
In the lock-down narrative it feels like we are surrounded each day by messages telling us what we should or could be or how to behave: be still and you will find peace, be grateful and you will find happiness, be courageous and you will overcome fear, be authentic and you will become a great leader, be humble and you will earn respect, be kind and you will be a better human, be determined and everything will fall into place.
Be something … they inspire me and routinely cause some form of internal reflection or external action.
It has been a true awakening to discover the beauty of personal growth.
To see opportunity in my difficulties and strive towards a version of me that is physically and psychologically stronger.
But in reading the remarkable Siobhan Sheridan’s Encouragement Manifesto contribution on celebrating others ‘Fitting out as Fitting In’ I had an epiphany in this unyielding exploration of betterment.
For that, I am truly grateful.
John O’Donahue wrote:
“there is a profound balancing within beauty”
He believed that truth and beauty were interlinked. That one cannot exist without the other. That if there is no balance, the force of imbalance would ultimately bring destruction.
Perhaps then, the acknowledgement of the truth of who we are is part of this transformational journey?
In this hamster wheel of life, this ever-evolving progression, we sometimes have to pause and just be.
The quest for the beauty of self is not simply a journey of growth but also one of acceptance. A balance between the beauty of becoming better and the truth of knowing you are enough, as you are, in this moment.
So whilst celebrating others, I am also celebrating self. Not analysing self but unthinkingly accepting it. I have taken a brief hiatus in forward motion. I am my flaws, my weaknesses, my strengths, my blessings. The kink in my hair, the wobble of my tummy, my over-thinking brain, my shyness, my love of nature, my joy for life.
In doing so, I have found balance and my thoughts have brought greater clarity to one of my favourite pieces of poetry by Maya Angelou:
Now you understand,
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about,
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally,
Phenomenal woman.
That’s me.
